I am not a Debby downer. I love a good fairytale story; boy meets girl, boy falls in love with the girl, boy saves the girl and they live happily ever after. I am not a psychopath, I love happy endings. (who doesn’t?). But it is time we address some ideas that classic animations have grafted deep into our minds. Thank God for recent productions that have taken a turn for the better by creating what I like to call new-gen animations. No more girls locked in a tower waiting for Prince Charming or girls being abused by wicked stepmother and stepsisters until a dazzling Prince appeared in her life. Now we have thought-challenging animations with strong characters of both genders.

Millennials had it not so good in our time. All we had growing up were classics animations (mostly Disney) like Little Mermaid, Cinderella, Snow White etc. One way or the other, these animations formed an opinion, an idea in our minds from childhood.

The Disney fever has created men who fall under intense pressure to be needed, to be the solution provider, to be the knight in shining armour to their partners, to be the ATM. I hear guys say things like, “I can’t date because I don’t have money yet,” and it makes me sad because that means they’d formed the impression that ladies are these money-sucking vampires who can’t provide for themselves.

Apart from going on dates- which shouldn’t always be on the guy to pay for-, I wonder what else dating couples need to spend money on? Hey, it might just be my low relationship experience that is talking but I don’t think every lady lives in the world of asking her boyfriend to buy her everything- ranging from wigs to sanitary pads. Instead of denying yourself love, I think you should look for a lady that is not a money-sucking vampire that will crush you under financial burdens and the need to be. A woman who can also be something to you. A woman who can not only pull her financial weight but can also support you when needed.

Men want to be a knight in shining armour that will slay ladies’ dragons to win their hearts. They are under immense pressure to impress a lady they like and if they believe they don’t have “what it takes” (usually financial strength) they fall back. I mean, most men creep into the shell of “I’m not ready to date” for one simple reason; they don’t think they have what it takes financially to maintain a woman. (Here is an idea though; go for a low budget and financially independent woman. Trust me, we are plenty out there)

Women, on the other hand, sit still and look pretty waiting for a man. I see ladies who don’t want to make too much money. They want to make enough to get by until they are married because “that will be my husband’s work”. Single ladies don’t want to buy a car or appear too independent so as not to drive potential suitors away. (Seriously, what century is it?! Bridgerton era?) We get complacent with not having enough money because all we have to do is marry an already-made man and poof! We are set for life. We want to appear weak because that way, a man has a reason to come to our rescue and hopefully fall in love. (That is sick, by the way). So we wait for Prince Charming that will catch us when we swoon and impress us with his bank account and “charms”.

We want a powerful man that can provide for us, protect us, get us through doors we never would have made it past on our own. Yes, all that is good, but what if we provide all that for the man? Contrary to what most ladies assume, I have asked several guys if they will be comfortable with their partners earning more than them. The answer was always the same, “yes, why not?” Men want women who won’t cost them additional expense. They want women who can assist them too. I am not an advocate for lazy and weak men, no. But I also believe in everybody pulling their weight and supporting when a party is down.

All that Disney fever breeds are men who are mentally stressed and incapable women (Both are toxic to the society). What is wrong with an independent woman who won’t ask you for money to change her wardrobe? (That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give her if you can) Whatever happened to the woman that can open doors for her husband? What if we live in a world where every woman understands that they don’t have to set a too close to ground bar for themselves to attract a man because they don’t want to appear too strong? (It’s not your job to cream a man’s low self-esteem or to make him feel something he’s not)

Yes, as a man, you should be able to provide for your family but you shouldn’t have to worry about buying a 200k wig for your wife too. Instead of high-budget bimbos who would tax you with fees they can’t ask their parents, find smart, independent women. Hey, a parasitic relationship where you are the host might be your thing. It might be what turns you on and rev your engine; I’m not judging so stay on that path.

I’m talking about men who feel trapped in the circle of “I must be everything for her”; who are pressured to impress a woman to win her heart. I am addressing ladies who want to be more than a debit card to their partners. Women who don’t want to sit still and look dazzling as they wait for Prince Charming that will carry all their burden. Ladies who can deal with their problems by themselves and be strong enough to share their partner’s.

There is nothing wrong with Disney animations, they are wonderful and I really enjoyed watching them as a kid (Newsflash: I’m an adult now and I still watch them) But let’s know the difference between an animation cliche plot and reality.


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