Thoughts keep consuming you, unending questions of how will this end? Why this? When?
One minute you’re here in the conscious world seeing men as you should, the next minute it starts to fade away and you can only see letters. All the thoughts running through your mind start taking on letters in Caps and bold, like a dyslexic child struggling to grab them and make them stay on paper. You try but it’s a lost battle from the start. The words you’d spoken playback on the screen and it’s like you’re at a sold-out theatre watching an opera orchestrated by your subconscious.
When it’ll end? you ask. Guess you’re not privy to that information. You’re at her mercy and can’t put up a fight, almost like caged air you float but still confined. She, madam-subconscious, calls the shots in this game. She doubles as the coach and the captain, and she’ll drive you to the ground if you test her.
So rather than fight it you soak it all in, revelling howbeit noiselessly. The only words spoken are with letters, here they have a voice of their own, as soon as they are conjured and projected.
Tap! Tap! Tap!
Should you be feeling something? At the moment, it feels like a feather brushing so slightly against your skin until your consciousness finally interprets the signal to mean a painful tap.
“Ouch!” you exclaim.
Oh, as usual, you had completely tuned out the world and now you have to try and join in like you never left.
If you got a penny for every time you were asked, “a penny for your thoughts?” It’ll be raining pennies, cents and greenbacks and you’ll be the rainmaker.
The word you should be searching for should be along the lines of fusspot, nervous-Nellie, worrier, perfectionist and overthinker. As it were, wanting to make things perfect is not a terrible trait in itself but being obsessed with it to the detriment of your mental health might be a red flag. Not all overthinkers are perfectionists but all perfectionists are overthinkers, it’s like a union of sets, elements of each exist in each other. When you start to lose touch with reality or “zone-out” you should take caution and consciously redirect your thoughts.
Don’t let your subconscious shut the gate with you trapped in. Fear and anxiety serve as fuel, once there’s a short supply of it, the engine of this obsessive machine will starve, and that’s exactly what you need. Be in control of your thoughts and not the other way around, intentionally stay aware and don’t over-dwell or over-analyse some thoughts especially if they are negative and fast-triggered or flash-by ones, those should be short-lived and even die instantaneously.
Honey, you really need to see that there’s no end in sight if you continue on the trail of over-thinking. Get-off!!!!!