It’s funny how we have a weird relationship with our family and still cheerfully yell “Family is everything”. This minute we’re grateful to God for gifting us with such beautiful individuals who you would swear that you could die for, and the next minute, you find yourself cussing out and asking God what you did wrong in your past life to deserve them as your punishment. Either because your siblings didn’t get your blessing before using your cologne, or because one of them has left plates in the kitchen sink again. At that moment, you just want to strangle the life out of them and then there are times when your parents are at it with you again.

As a young lady in her late twenties, living with your parents is an extreme sport, especially when you’re single and there is no man on ground. Feminist coven leader like me woke up with a positive level of excitement and energy, little did I know it was going to be a gbas gbos weekend. I had been struggling to write a post for a blog I manage and it’s been quite uninspiring I must say. I didn’t know how to start. In writing, I have learnt that the first line is always the hardest, knowing when to drop the pen follows closing. Amidst the nags and trolls from mumsi and my ever-troubling siblings about me getting a man and leaving the house for them, I fiddled with my laptop for quite a while and with no particular topic in mind, I decided to start.

Just like life, sometimes we don’t even know how to start, and the worst part is that the distractions never cease. Starting can be difficult just as an ending can be tough. Sometimes we find it difficult to get out of our heads and become scared of negative results, distractions or even perfection of the project that we forget to start. Life will always be life and distractions will always be around. My mind drifted to when my friends made me speak to my crush because they felt he liked me too. I knew the implications of making the first move. “Take risks,” they said. “If it pans out well, good luck and if it fails, I hope you learn the lessons that come with the failure.” The unwritten rule of this Okoto skrr is that you “Start by STARTING”

Yes! You might fail, but don’t let that scare you from starting. Some get so engrossed with the fear of failure and disappointment that they choose to not live, and settle for simply existing! They think inaction is the easy way out only for them to wake up years later feeling like a bundle of regret and failure. For some, it is the quest for perfection that drives them away from even starting. They want to nail it and wow the audience on their very first try. Failure is seen as weakness and must not be tolerated. For some, it is the planning stage that gulps all the time. They rarely execute the project as there is always an adjustment to make till the essence of the dream fades into oblivion. They forget that life does not wait for you to get your dung together before she gate-crashes your world.

It does not have to make ALL the sense before you begin. Some life issues do not need us having all our Ts crossed at the start. Just begin despite the distractions and fear, because they will always be there. You will grow and learn more tricks and techniques as you win and fail. You never know, you might be an awful or awesome start away from that big break or lesson life wants to teach you. We fail and win. These two don’t cancel each other out, rather they create a balance for a better appreciation of the essence of one’s being.

I know you’re all eager to know how the weekend went and what happened with my crush. But for now, go start that project or whatever it is that has always tickled your fancy. You fit chop breakfast or make you shàná and e go bright. We don’t know the outcome until you tryDon’t spend your whole life waiting and dreaming of what could have been your finest moment or a wonderful life simply because you refused to start for fear of failure or whatever. Like Nike would always say “JUST DO IT”

At this point I think we all get the message – sometimes we just have to do it afraid and not fully prepared. Now I want to drop the pen, still with no topic in mind.

Argh. This girl has removed the charger when she knows my laptop is a desktop that lasts only about three minutes without electricity. God Abeg.


Now, this is one of those days I ask God what I must have done wrong in my past life to have Tife as a sibling. 

Dhesert Chequer

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