YOUR WAY

You have no idea what it’s like to be stared at and treated like an outcast

You don’t have any idea what I go through trying to impress you

You have no idea what I go through just to look like you

You think I don’t want to be skinny just like you?

You think I love to wake up and stand out from everyone else?

You think I don’t want to be ‘pretty’ like all of you?

I want to look like you. I do!

But I can’t

I’ve tried! Tried to be average

God knows

But I’m just not that way

Every time I wake up it feels like looking like you is the only determinant of my survival

Why won’t you just let me breathe?

What exactly is the problem with me being myself?

You think I don’t feel odd already?

I feel odd without even being told

But that’s not enough for you, is it?

It’s not just okay, is it?

From a very young age I learned that being me wasn’t really good enough

That looking like I do will always make the picture come out wrong

But then I realise

If the most important thing for survival is to look like everyone else,

I guess I won’t live long

So now you know what?

I’ve decided to either do this my way or not do it at all

Because I don’t like your way

Your way has too many rules

Rules on what to weigh and what not to weigh,

Rules on what to do and what not to do,

Rules on what to say and what not to say,

Rules on how to act and how not to act.

Rules on how to eat and laugh, drink and dance and look.

I don’t like your way

Your way brings me pain

I don’t like your way

Your way hurts me

I don’t like your way

Your way is too shallow

Shallow in a way that scars my existence.

I don’t like your way

Your way suffocates me.

I keep telling you ‘I can’t breathe! I can’t breathe!’ but you don’t seem to hear me

I wonder what will kill me first

Your hatred for my exterior

Or my stubborn and ambitious determination to conform

And keep my head above the water

From now on

I refuse to subject myself to your ridiculous standards!

Because I’m too good for that

MOYOSOREOLUWA FAGUNLEKA (Mo_the_creative)

08022979299

teemofags@gmail.com